It was the futuristic sounding year 2000 and, in keeping with the futuristic sounding times, I made my first purchase from Amazon. The first this I ever bought from Amazon was a Jar-Jar Binks alarm clock. A woman with whom I was involved at the time was a fan of Jar-Jar Binks, so I should have known what a dumpster fire wrapped in dirty diapers that relationship would end up being… but we can talk about that some other time, or better still - not.
Since then, I’ve purchased many books from Amazon… some music - both physical and digital… a few pairs of shoes… some pens… but I don’t think I’ve bought anything living, or living at one time, unless you count leather - which I don’t, but we can talk about that some other time, or better still - not.
Do you ever wonder what - for you - will be a step too far?
From Engadget: “Amazon will sell full-size, live Christmas trees this holiday season… They’ll be eligible for Prime shipping.”
I don’t know why this bothers me as much as it does… but boy does it. I think it has to do with the pains I take in picking out my tree. I need to look at it. I need to stand near it. I need to talk it over.
I’ve bought from Lowe’s a couple of times. But I’ve also bought from local farmers - I hate how much those trees cost, but I like that there’s a story. That there’s a person.
When I was 17… one of my best friends, who ended up being my girlfriend… we went to a Christmas Tree lot - one next to our high school. It was one of the best dates of my entire life - even though it wasn’t a date. It was just us… walking around a tree lot… learning about each other… picking out a tree for an imaginary home we hadn’t even started imagining yet, and ultimately never would.
“Come November,” says Engadget,” Amazon will begin selling full-size trees, which will ship to customers within 10 days of being cut down…”
There’s nothing wrong with what Amazon’s doing… except for everything.
105 shopping days until Christmas.
Bah-di-yah.
